


It Goes

by pickledragon



Category: Alice Isn't Dead (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, Mild Angst, Mild Fluff, i had feelings about character parallels and this happened, local meetcute is quickly tarnished by the passage of time and the characters' own flaws, spoilers up to part 3 chapter 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 10:10:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14734979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pickledragon/pseuds/pickledragon
Summary: Alice leaves her car keys on the counter, leaves her clothes in their bedroom, her kiss on Keisha's cheek, like remnants of someone just going out to buy groceries.Alice doesn't know she's leaving until she does, until it feels wrong to leave but worse to stay. Tearing yourself from someone's life is so much easier when you don't have to pick up the pieces.





	It Goes

It's important, Keisha thinks, to remember that no matter where something ends, it also has a beginning.

Her beginning goes like this. 

Keisha lets herself get dragged to city singles night. 

"Come on, it'll be fun!" her co-worker had winked as she held out a flyer. She took it cautiously and it hung on her fridge for the next 3 weeks. It took two of those to convince herself to actually go. The firm hand of a fellow co-worker pulled her through that last week. It'll be fine, she reasoned. You can always leave. Besides, pre-paid credit cards didn't exactly fill the void of human interaction. She needed to move, so that the gnawing feeling in her gut would thaw, just for a little. 

The bar is as crowded as it is seedy (which is to say moderately,) with a light sheen on weekend-old filth across every fourth chair. Keisha makes her way to the far corner of the bar's counter. A man sits directly besides her and tries to strike up a conversation unsuccessfully. It quickly becomes a pit of anxiety in Keisha's gut, as she repeatedly says "No, not really." 

Keisha tries to cut off the awkward advances by looking elsewhere in the bar. It doesn't work. Across the room, several people she has never seen before laugh uproariously. One is a woman who catches Keisha's slightly frantic gaze. She quickly stalks over to Keisha's seat, gives her a wink along with a small nod, then decks the man. The rest of the bar bursts into laughter as the man's mouth gapes open. This woman throws her head back in slightly strained laughter and pushes the man out the door with some other, slightly more drunk, assistants. Even through the gruff talking to by the bartender, she gives a smile to Keisha, and her green eyes shine under the flickering bar lights. 

She is gorgeous. 

Her name is Alice. She is presumptuous, arrogant. Alice grins widely and flags down the bartender who had scolded her five seconds ago. 

She slides into the seat where the man had sat. "A glass for the lady, please." Alice's cheeks aren't even flushed. "Two shots of my usual please. I want to remember every part of tonight." The bartender laughs and starts filling her order. 

They start talking, about their political affiliations, opinions on grilled cheese, how weird singles clubs are, and slowly the anxiety lessens to a dull roar. 

"Look Keisha, this is a lovely conversation, but if I have to listen to ads about business investments one more minute, I need a drink." Alice's long red hair flies into the air as she tosses back another shot at the bar counter. And Keisha falls head over heels. 

"You know, I usually decide that I love someone almost immediately," Alice says on their fourth date. Keisha drinks her in, her t-shirt and jeans (Alice wasn't one for formality) and her bright smile, even as she bares herself.

"But you, chipmunk? You're something special. Something worth taking my time." Alice takes a hand and lightly grasps Keisha's.

"Well that's kinda funny, cause I realized I loved you the moment you punched that guy at the bar." Keisha grins widely and Alice holds her hand. 

They're lying beside one another in a bed, breathless, Alice's clothes strewn across the floor and her glasses on the side-table that Keisha whacks her shin on every morning. "Keisha," Alice says, her eyes wide, "I love you."

"Hey," Keisha responds. She shifts closer to Alice, and god she is hilarious and caring and protective and smart and beautiful. "I love you too."

They get married after long months of discussion, on a sunny weekend in June. They laugh throughout the entire ceremony and almost set their suits on fire during the candle lighting. And as Alice and Keisha slip rings onto each other's fingers, they think, "I want this to last."

And it does. 

They're arguing in their kitchen, Alice's arms waving wildly, Keisha's right hand clenched tightly on the counter. With the other, she holds a cloth full of ice to Alice's eye. It's bruising nicely. 

"You can't keep doing this. Getting hurt, throwing yourself at everything that walks into your line of sight." Keisha's brow is furrowed and her tone is sharp. 

Alice protests, "That guy needed my help! If I don't do it, who will?"

"Someone else, I don't know who. Someone without a savior complex or a wife to come home to!"

Alice recoils from Keisha's touch. 

"I- I'm sorry, Alice. That was out of line." Keisha chokes back a sob. "I can't keep doing this. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Alice sighs and pulls Keisha in for a hug. "I know. I'll try, okay?"

"Okay."

They stay like that for a while. 

Alice starts taking more trips, burying herself in her work and Keisha retreats deeper into herself. 

"I'm going shopping, I gotta pick up some artichoke for dinner tonight." Alice shouts from the front hallway of their apartment. It seems like she's never home anymore. And when Alice is, she's... distant. Keisha is always on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"You don't need to do that, hon," Keisha responds. She meets Alice at the door, her coat wrapped tightly around her and a bag slung over one shoulder. "How about I make dinner tonight, with what we have?" 

Alice laughs a small laugh, but it seems hollow. "Chanterelle, I love you, you know I do, but your cooking is horrendous. I'll be back in an hour, tops."

Keisha opens her mouth to say something, how she doesn't want to be alone in this apartment even if Alice isn't really there, that they really need to talk, that there's artichoke at the bottom of the fridge. She simply says, "Okay."

Alice embraces her, maybe a bit too tight, but Keisha doesn't say a word. "Be careful. Call me if anything seems weird."

"Of course, Alice. I love you." She kisses Alice on the cheek, her mind a million miles from where they are. 

"Love you too, Keisha."

And Alice is gone. Dead to Keisha for her own sake, but really for Alice's. 

Alice leaves her car keys on the counter, leaves her clothes in their bedroom, her kiss on Keisha's cheek, like remnants of someone just going out to buy groceries.

Alice doesn't know she's leaving until she does, until it feels wrong to leave but worse to stay. Tearing yourself from someone's life is so much easier when you don't have to pick up the pieces. 

It's important, Keisha thinks, to remember that no matter where something begins, it also has an ending.

The beginning of the end is this:

A bottle in hand, tears dripping onto an unsent missing person's report. 

Trails of online receipts, paid for years. 

Alice's face on the news. 

And Keisha leaves.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: learningthomas.tumblr.com  
> Original content: pickledragonblog.weebly.com


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